A week ago today I got to spend some much needed time with C. I knew going in that I was going to be punished for cumming without permission but I also knew that we would cement our roles and that there would be much pleasure involved also.
I picked him up and we came back to my place. He was very quiet on the drive over and it made me wonder what exactly he had in store for me. We came inside and he pulled me to him with a wonderful kiss, telling me to head into the bedroom, strip, kneel and wait for him. He came in, got everything ready and placed my collar around my neck. I LOVE my collar. It's a simple brown dog collar with a purple heart tag that says "His Little One". It immediately puts me into the submissive mindset. He directs me to the bed, cuffs my wrists together and has me lean over. Time for my punishment. He starts with his hand, warming up my ass. About 10 in it starts stinging pretty bad. He moves on to the leather paddle. That thing packs a wallop. Alternating between the paddle, his hand and a riding crop, I start writhing, trying to get away. He has to keep pulling me back onto my stomach. All the while he's telling me "You stole something from me. I'm serious about this. Don't you ever doubt me". The last smack brought me to my knees. The wooden paddle. The dreaded wooden paddle. I was in tears at this point, begging him to stop. He picked me up, laying me gently on the bed telling me that it was over. That he was done. He left me for a few minutes and came back with a lotion that he rubbed into the new bruise.
Everything after that is kind of a blur. We spent a lot of time loving on each other and lots and lots of pleasure was had. He sent me into subspace and I apparently passed out from cumming so hard so many times.
At the end we were laying in bed talking and he started rubbing on me again. I had cum so many times that I was exhausted and didn't want to cum again. He started telling me to cum for him and I said "No" and fought him on it. I kept saying "No" over and over again, kept fighting him. He wasn't having it. He persisted until I had no fight left in me and proceeded to cum over and over again, every time he told me to. After I just broke down in tears. He was afraid that he had pushed too far, but he hadn't. It was what I needed. I needed that last little fight taken out of me. I needed him to push me and not let me say no. I needed to fully surrender to him without any sense of having a say in what he does to me. I needed him to take what is his and to own all of me, to make me his slave as he is my Master.
I just came to a huge realization as I'm writing all of this out. I am his slave. I don't want a say in what happens. I want him to own all of me. He's had my heart for months now, mostly all of me physically, but it's time to fully give him the rest of me also. It's time to fully give him my mind and my soul. I trust him enough to know that he will never hurt me, he will never betray me, he will always keep my interest in mind, but to know that everything I do is all for his pleasure, that is what I need. I want him to totally possess all of me and more importantly, I don't want a say in how that happens. I will follow him in whatever course is laid out for us.
No comments:
Post a Comment