So I guess it's time to update about the new man in my life. Back in August I wrote a blog about meeting him. Now, 2 months later, it's time to update about who he is and what he means to me.
C and I met on a kink website. We started out as friends with some comments back and forth on posts and pictures. That led to some emails, then IMs and finally talking on the phone. We found that we had a lot in common and were wanting the same thing in a relationship. His voice absolutely melted me and we decided to move forward. Before we even met in person, I knew that he was the one I was supposed to be with. The first hug, as soon as I stepped out of the car, just confirmed it. We had lunch then went to a park to just talk and spend some time together. We had feelings that were evolving before meeting and were cemented when he told me that he loved me and I told him that I loved him back.
From that first meeting, I have fallen further in love with this wonderful man. We have some obstacles of course. He is not in an open marriage and if his wife finds out, their marriage is over. That's a huge burden to carry. With our schedules not always meshing, we sometimes have to go a few weeks without seeing each other. When he's not at work, he's expected to be at home, which cuts down on opportunities to be together.
Except for those two major obstacles, we're making it work. He's amazing at making sure that I know how loved and wanted I am. That I know how much he wants to be with me when we can't be together. We try to talk every day and often for hours on end through both IM and phone on the days that he is working. He knows my darkest thoughts, my wants and needs. He reads me like a book sometimes and that can be scary. I'm able to lay all of myself out to him and he embraces it and loves it and encourages it.
He does the same for me. He lets me in and let's me see the bad with the good. The parts that he doesn't show other people because they'll judge him and see him as a bad person with bad intentions. He lets me see the dark places of his soul and to find that we have some of the same dark places feels freeing and like I'm not alone in how I feel a lot of the time.
He is my friend, my lover, my confidant, my Dom. He is the one I think of when I'm falling asleep and the first cognizant thought in the morning. I always reach for my phone very first thing in the morning to see if I have a message from him. He's the one my heart misses when it's been too many days apart, who my body craves, who my soul longs for. He is the only one I ever want to submit to. The only one who I want to take me down to the darkest depths of my soul and to know that he will explore and leave me safe and sound.
And the sex....oh wow. There are no words that can truly explain how amazingly amazing the sex is. He makes my body respond like no one ever has. He makes me crave things that I have never craved before. Feeling him bite my neck, the flogger as it falls across my ass and my back, the way my mind just shuts out everything but him and the sensations I'm feeling. Hearing his voice as he commands me to cum at the precise time that he wants me to. Feeling the flooding mess I make when looking deep into his eyes and without a single touch to my body, just feeling his hands hovering over me, and hearing his voice telling me "Cum for me, cum for me now".
My mind, my body, my soul is his. I've always said that my "secondary" would be my "for now" love. Not anymore. He is my "forever minus a day" love. We are both in this for the long haul. No matter what the future brings, we are in this together and we will love and support each other with all we have and all we are. I am hoping that one day he can be more of a part of my family. That my kids will come to know him as "Uncle C" and that we can grow into a truly poly family. Until that time, we continue as we are. We take the good with the bad, the happy with the sad and we continue to grow as a vanilla couple and as a D/s couple. We still have a lot to learn about each other but I know that one day, I will wear his collar. And I will be so honored to truly be his.
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